nightcenturymountain: (i dream of a world worth saving)
[personal profile] nightcenturymountain
Things I've forgotten to post here from the last...urrr...few years. How deeply, deeply embarrassing. ^-^ There's a fair bit of pornliness, too, so be warned. TO BE CONTINUED

from: http://community.livejournal.com/utenadrabble/180173.html

formless

The transparently sexual sensation of his hands on his jealous skin let guilt in like a desperate lover. He knew his thoughts were wrong, were vile things never meant to touch the surface structures of his volatile mind. Still, he couldn’t stop thinking, couldn’t keep still. Couldn’t cease his futile dreaming of what might be could be wouldn’t ever be because Kozue wasn’t—-

Wasn’t good enough to take her. Even with his strengths added to hers, Kozue was too weak to best Utena. He’d never see the perfect contrast of Kozue’s moon-burned hands rushing over Anthy’s silent curves. Never watch his twin, his perfect match, possess the Rose Bride while he—-

yes.

--------------
from 2006 kh_drabble secret santa:

internalize

The memories still burn him, even though he moves from day to day with a smile painted lovingly on his face. He knows he killed in the name of light, he knows he is forgiven, but some part of him will never want to forget the lessons he learned. There is an equivalency there he doesn't understand, but it doesn't matter – all that matters is what he imagines to be true, and how he startles when two pairs of wondering hands touch his shoulders, pulling him nearer to their warmth.

Riku holds Kairi's hands with tenderness and care, imagining that the pain that she feels is tied somehow to his errors. He is wrong, but it doesn't change the way he reacts to her tears, to her nightfears, to the sorrow that drifts behind her eyes as soon as the lone cherry tree on the island blooms in spring. He feels a little left out – his soul never went wandering without his consent, and he faintly resents the times when he sees them sitting quietly together, and knows that it isn't Sora he's seeing touching Naminé's cheek.

She is too careful of their feelings, holding their hearts in her mouth even as they kiss her, one after the other, and sometimes each other, hesitant and vague, testing the waters a thousand times, always afraid to dive. She wants to protect them from each other, from herself, from the strangling paths that they've already followed to their ruinous ends. She sees more than they want her to, and wishes she could have been there at the end, to see the sky so silent and black and know that they had each other, at least ...and she won't follow that thought through because it makes her cry every time.

Together at last, no more nameless threats, no more Heartless, no more dreadful men in black coats, they are silent, sometimes afraid to look into each other's eyes, but willing to try, always once more, until they get it right.
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nightcenturymountain

March 2010

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